TIRCIA · E-book · English
Shame
understanding this emotion and learning to be kind to yourself
Shame is part of everyone’s life, and it becomes heavy when it settles in and makes us want to hide. This workbook helps you tell shame apart from guilt, understand its link with trauma, and practise self-compassion exercises to soften the way you see yourself.
01 · Who it is for
For anyone who thinks “if people knew…”
For people who often feel ashamed, who put themselves down, or who carry shame after violence, humiliation or an accident. It draws on the work of June Tangney, Paul Gilbert and Kristin Neff.
It brings a shame diary, the self-compassion break, a compassionate letter and a page to rephrase “I am” into “I went through”. It can support therapeutic work, and therapists can hand it to their clients.
02 · Inside the e-book
Nine short chapters, to read gently
Shame or guilt?
Two closely related emotions, compared side by side.
What is shame for?
A social emotion linked to our need to belong, in body, mind and behaviour.
When shame follows trauma
A common, understandable reaction, and where responsibility lies.
The hidden faces of shame
Withdrawal, perfectionism, anger and self-criticism as ways of protecting yourself.
My shame diary
Note what triggers shame and what helps you through it.
The three emotion systems
Threat, drive and soothing, in Paul Gilbert’s model.
Self-compassion: three components
Kristin Neff’s approach, with two exercises to try.
Shame gets lighter when it is shared
Choosing someone you trust, and starting small.
From “I am” to “I went through”
Rephrasing what you tell yourself in a friend’s voice.
03 · A look inside
Clear, airy pages, made to be read slowly
Good to know
This workbook offers bearings and goes alongside the care of a doctor or therapist. Thoughts of suicide: Samaritans 116 123 (UK and Ireland), 988 (US), free, 24/7. In an emergency: 112 in Europe, 999 in the UK, 911 in the US.
Read it gently, at your own pace, and keep it close
Also available in French: La honte
Editorial direction: Marie-Agnès ThulliezTIRCIA
Turning information into concrete, immediately usable resources
