TIRCIA · E-book · English
Psychological abuse and coercive control
recognising control in order to protect yourself
Putting clear words to what happens in a controlling relationship can ease a great deal of confusion. This e-book explains how control takes hold, what marks it can leave, how to put your safety first and what can support recovery, at your own pace.
01 · Who it is for
For anyone who wonders “what is this relationship doing to me?”
For people who have lived, or are living, in a relationship that leaves them doubting themselves, and for those close to them. The e-book describes behaviours and relationship patterns, without putting a label on anyone.
It brings clear landmarks on gaslighting, the cycle of control, trauma bonding, safety planning and the law in the UK and France. Therapists and support workers can hand it to the people they accompany.
02 · Inside the e-book
Nine short chapters, to find your bearings
What are we talking about?
Psychological abuse, coercive control and being under control, clearly defined.
Three ideas not to confuse
Narcissistic disorder, narcissistic perversion and coercive control compared.
When your bearings start to blur
Gaslighting, role reversal and other ways manipulation undermines trust in yourself.
How control takes hold
Four often-described stages, from love bombing to rejection and return.
The marks control can leave
Trauma bonding, dissociation and exhaustion, and when to talk to a professional.
Safety comes first
Safety planning, limiting contact, the “grey rock” and a few protective phrases.
What the law says
Legal landmarks in England and Wales, Scotland, France and elsewhere.
Finding safety, coherence and identity
The pillars of recovery and the approaches that can support it, including EMDR.
Why loving more is not enough
A gentle, clear answer to a question many people ask themselves.
03 · A look inside
Clear, airy pages, made to be read slowly
Good to know
This e-book offers bearings and goes alongside the care of a doctor, a psychologist or a victim-support organisation. If you are in danger, call your local emergency number: 112 in Europe, 999 in the UK, 911 in the US. If you have thoughts of suicide: Samaritans 116 123 (UK and Ireland), 988 (US).
Read it at your own pace, one page at a time
Also available in French: Violence psychologique et contrôle coercitif
Editorial direction: Marie-Agnès ThulliezTIRCIA
Turning information into concrete, immediately usable resources
