TIRCIA · General public
Depression: understanding what is happening and what really helps
A guide to getting through the difficult days, and for the people around you
By Marie-Agnès Thulliez · Author · Publishing Director7-minute read
Depression is a health condition in its own right, far more than “feeling a bit low” or a question of willpower. It affects mood, energy, sleep, thinking and the body. It can be treated, and most people recover.
If you recognise yourself in these lines, or if you are worried about someone close to you, this article will help you see things more clearly: recognising the signs, understanding why the usual advice falls short, and knowing what really helps.
Recognising depression
Everyone goes through sad days. We speak of depression when several of these signs, including sadness or loss of interest, last for at least two weeks, nearly every day, and change the way a person lives:
- sadness, emptiness or irritability for most of the day;
- a loss of interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy;
- tiredness that does not go away with rest;
- disturbed sleep: waking very early, insomnia, or on the contrary a constant need to sleep;
- changes in appetite, with weight loss or weight gain;
- difficulty concentrating, making decisions or remembering;
- a feeling of worthlessness or excessive guilt;
- slowing down, or on the contrary an inner restlessness;
- thoughts of death, or the idea that others would be better off without you.
It is common: in France, nearly one adult in six (16%) aged 18 to 79 had experienced a depressive episode in the twelve months before the 2024 survey, and 22% of 18–29-year-olds. More than four in ten of the people affected (44%) had received no care at all (Santé publique France, 2025). Only a doctor can make the diagnosis: these signs are a reason to see one, rather than a test to take on your own.
Why “pulling yourself together” is not enough
“Snap out of it”, “think about something else”: this advice is well meant, but it misses the mark. Tiredness, loss of pleasure and slowing down are symptoms of depression rather than choices. Asking someone to “get motivated” is like asking a person with a fever to stop feeling hot.
Depression is often kept going by a cycle: you feel exhausted, you give up your activities and the people close to you, you have fewer opportunities to feel pleasure or pride, and your mood drops even further. This cycle explains why effective help relies on small, supported steps, chosen because they are achievable, rather than on willpower alone.
What really helps
Depression can be treated, and the treatment depends on its severity. In France, the Haute Autorité de santé [French National Authority for Health] recommends (HAS, 2017):
| Severity | What is recommended |
|---|---|
| Mild | Supportive psychotherapy |
| Moderate | Psychotherapy, and possibly an antidepressant |
| Severe | A psychiatrist quickly, an antidepressant and psychotherapy; hospital admission if the suicide risk is high |
Psychotherapy is at the heart of care. Cognitive behavioural therapies help people to spot the thoughts that drag them down and gradually to take up again the activities that matter to them. When depression has set in after traumatic events, work on those memories, for example with EMDR, can be discussed with a trained therapist (EMDR is validated mainly for post-traumatic stress; for depression, the evidence is still limited).
Antidepressants, when they are prescribed, are generally continued for 6 months to 1 year after symptoms have gone, to prevent relapse. Always stop them with your doctor, gradually, even when you feel better: stopping on your own or abruptly is best avoided.
Physical activity has a real effect. A large review of 218 trials (14,170 participants) showed that walking or running, strength training and yoga reduce depressive symptoms; according to the researchers, the effect may be close to that of cognitive behavioural therapies, although the quality of the evidence remains low (Noetel et al., 2024). It works alongside treatment.
To see a psychologist in France, the Mon soutien psy scheme reimburses up to 12 sessions a year with a partner psychologist, at €50 per session, reimbursed at 60% (Santé.fr, 2026; Vidal, 2025). Since 2025, you can book an appointment directly, without going through a doctor; the directory of partner psychologists is at monsoutienpsy.ameli.fr. The scheme is intended for mild to moderate difficulties: if depression is severe or you are having suicidal thoughts, talk to your doctor. Wherever you live, your GP (family doctor) remains a good first point of contact.
Small steps for difficult days
These small actions go hand in hand with treatment: they help to loosen the cycle of withdrawal. Choose just one, the easiest, and start small.
- Keep a simple routine: get up and go to bed at regular times, and eat meals, even light ones.
- Do just one thing a day, useful or pleasant: a shower, ten minutes outside, a phone call. The desire often comes after the action rather than before it.
- Move a little, at your own pace: a ten-minute walk counts.
- Stay in touch: with at least one person, even by text message.
- Avoid alcohol: it soothes in the moment but worsens mood and sleep.
- Postpone big decisions: leaving a job, ending a relationship, moving house. Depression clouds judgement.
- Write down what you have done: even the tiniest thing. Grey days erase the memory of progress.
For family and friends
Watching someone you love fade is bewildering. Your presence matters more than your advice.
- Listen without playing it down: “I can see this is hard” helps more than “it will pass”.
- Steer clear of orders: “get moving” or “think positive” add to the guilt.
- Offer practical help: going with them to an appointment, doing some shopping, walking together.
- Encourage them to seek help: without forcing, and come back to it gently.
- Ask about suicide if you are worried. Talking about it directly does not put the idea into someone’s head; it opens a door (Dazzi et al., 2014).
- Look after yourself too: you can call a crisis line yourself to find out how to help (988 in the US/Canada, Samaritans 116 123 in the UK and Ireland, 3114 in France).
When to ask for help straight away
If thoughts of death or suicide appear, for you or for someone close to you, act now.
Crisis lines: if you are having suicidal thoughts, call 988 (US/Canada) or Samaritans on 116 123 (UK and Ireland), or find a local helpline at findahelpline.com. In France: 3114, the free and confidential national suicide prevention line, available 24/7, where a trained nurse or psychologist will answer you. Family and friends can call too (Santé.fr, n.d.).
If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number: 999 in the UK, 911 in North America, 112 in the EU.
Calling is never a bother. That is exactly what these lines are there for.
Key points
- Depression is a health condition rather than a lack of willpower.
- Several signs lasting at least two weeks are a good reason to see a doctor.
- It can be treated: psychotherapy, sometimes an antidepressant, with physical activity alongside.
- Just one small step a day helps to break the cycle of withdrawal.
- Suicidal thoughts: call a crisis line, day and night (988 in the US/Canada, Samaritans 116 123 in the UK and Ireland, 3114 in France).
References
- Dazzi, T., Gribble, R., Wessely, S. and Fear, N.T. (2014) 'Does asking about suicide and related behaviours induce suicidal ideation? What is the evidence?', Psychological Medicine, 44(16), pp. 3361–3363. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291714001299.
- Haute Autorité de santé (2017) Dépression de l'adulte : repérage et prise en charge initiale [Depression in adults: identification and initial management] [infographic], November. Available at: https://www.has-sante.fr/upload/docs/application/pdf/2017-11/infographie_depression_adultes_webzine.pdf (accessed 16 October 2026).
- Noetel, M. et al. (2024) 'Effect of exercise for depression: systematic review and network meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials', BMJ, 384, e075847. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-075847.
- Santé publique France (2025) Épisodes dépressifs : prévalence et recours aux soins. Baromètre de Santé publique France : résultats de l'édition 2024 [Depressive episodes: prevalence and use of care. Santé publique France Health Barometer: results of the 2024 edition]. Saint-Maurice: Santé publique France. Available at: https://www.santepubliquefrance.fr/sante-mentale/depression-et-anxiete/rapportsynthese/episodes-depressifs-prevalence-et-recours-aux-soins-barometre-de-sante-publique-france-resultats-de (accessed 16 October 2026).
- Santé.fr (2026) Le remboursement des séances de psychologues : Mon soutien psy [Reimbursement of psychologist sessions: Mon soutien psy]. Available at: https://www.sante.fr/node/7240885 (accessed 16 October 2026).
- Santé.fr (n.d.) Que faire et à qui s'adresser face à une crise suicidaire ? [What to do and whom to contact in a suicidal crisis?] Available at: https://www.sante.fr/node/3485559 (accessed 16 October 2026).
- Vidal (2025) Évolution du dispositif « Mon soutien psy » : des séances en plus et un accès simplifié [Changes to the “Mon soutien psy” scheme: more sessions and simpler access], 20 May. Available at: https://www.vidal.fr/actualites/31366-evolution-du-dispositif-mon-soutien-psy-des-seances-en-plus-et-un-acces-simplifie.html (accessed 16 October 2026).
This article offers general guidance, up to date at the date of publication. It is no substitute for the advice of a doctor, who alone can make a diagnosis, or for support from a psychologist or psychotherapist.
